Mindless Ranting | Episode 3.5

"You're still young! You'll naturally grow out of seeing the bright side of things!"

I've been writing on my arm today anytime I had a sudden amusing thought.
Working cash register like that was interesting

With lines like...

"Bring sex into the matter and well, Snap! Crackle! Pop!"

and

"I've always wanted to join a cult! They offer such great benefits"

Yeah

Awesome :D

Mindless Ranting | Episode 3

"Barbie doesnt stand for going green! She doesnt stand for anything! If she could possibly stand on her impossibly arched pygmy feet"

Stephen Colbert is a fucking genius!

Ive come up with a pen name

There's a live band at Alvin Ord's on Friday night.
They're a duo called "Hooked On T"
You = Should Go
Tommy says theyre good, then again, he's getting on in his years and senilty.


I fought with mom today
We officially arent related anymore.

Ehh, good riddance
If she has something against the one's I care about, than I don't need her.

Anyways, she kicked me out... nothing says "Let's show you how we care" via the doorknob smacking your ass on the way out.


I don't much care for my work schedule this week
Neither does my mother...
I've got more hours that you
Bitch
:D

Jess has nearly finished the Twilight series
I'm happy for her
I'm still not picking up the damn things.


Also... for further reference K-mart shoppers
My nipples are allergic to the cold it seems...
You might keep this in mind when you see me changing the marquee and I look like I can cut glass with my man-tits

Mindless Ranting | Episode 2

-"What do you like to do for fun?"
-"Oh I dunno... I like to play chess... I like to screw?"
-"... Let's play chess..."

Mel Brooks is a fucking genius

My 120 gb Zune is apparently a "nice piece of equipment." My dick? A sad runner up... Better luck next year...

My grandmother apparently likes Keely. I've also introduced her to Eddie Izzard and Regina Spektor. She also said something to the accord of me becoming a stripper named Wachovia because both are associated with money.


Wal-mart's tried releasing its own line of Hollister/Abercrombie/Aero/AE knockoffs... tried being the operative word mind you.


Sex Changes is now one of my favorite songs.
The Dresden Dolls = Astounding & Resounding

This weekend is First Monday unfortunately... and I never had time to formulate an excuse as to why I could not go... I need the money though...

I don't get to sleep in my own bed until Sunday evening. Fucking a...

My father is apparently not coming to Thanksgiving tomorrow despite the fact that I was threatened with my life that if I did not come... well... you get the idea.


*makes power drill to temple motion*

-"In a frenzy of passion... all logical thinking as to preventing children goes out the door"
-"But Zsa Zsa, in a frenzy of passion... the condom comes out of the pocket"

Mindless Ranting | Episode 1

Hmm...
Im not normally a big Twilight guy
But Im not gonna lie, the movie wasnt half bad.


Jess is really starting to get into the books.

With as stressed as she's been lately, it's good thing really.


I got a facebook
Its pretty shaweet yeah
Add me?
Added a new blog last night
Simon Armitage kicks ass in my book.


I need to finish that thing I was writing for Brinkmanno
Also need to figure out how to extract tunes from Myspace
Ive got work at 4
Text/call or something
Message if ya need the number

So... Poison...

Is pretty much Beach Boys with the condom taken off
This music is meant to impregnate!

Why Everyone Should Get On Their Knees And Service Deb

Cliff says:
I officially despise tweenyboppers

Debbie says:
what happened

Cliff says:
them hitting on me on myyearbook

Debbie says:
hahaha

Cliff says:
this one girl in indiana is trying to convince me that we went to school together and she had the biggest thing for me

Cliff says:
and she told me a bunch of stuff that pretty much said weve never met

Cliff says:
ever

Cliff says:
and when I start pointing out her flaws she just rants off

Cliff says:
"Whatever Cliff whatever. This is why we havent talked in 2 years. Youre a jerk. Thats why we havent spoken.
You may be sexy as hell and fucking hot but no, youre a jerk and thats why we havent spoken"

Debbie says:
dude

Debbie says:
make a new name and convince her that you are her birth father, and her mother fucked around and youve been looking for her her whole life

How Angelina Tortures Jen!

This is officially the greatest cover title to any magazine in the history of this small spinning planet
I could so see them in an S&M relationship
No way Id open the cover though
I dont want to ruin this nice little daydream :D

A couple conclusions

The movie of Twilight...
Can best be summed up with the song "Talk Dirty To Me" by Poison

Keely's mom...
Actually has a lot in common with my American Eagle jeans
They come pre-distressed
Holy (holey) in their own right
And you have to enjoy em because you paid 60 bucks for em just so you could stick things into them...

The last one was pretty terrible I know